A comment I made on a forum that I thought was funny enough to save.

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All right. There's no way I'm wrong on this one so there's no purpose in denouncing this post. What you're seeing on Intel's website is not a computer, it's a polymorphic alien that has infiltrated our considerably defended intertubes (the funding for which accounts for approximately 7/19ths of the U.S. defense budget). I'm currently unaware of its intentions but I took the liberty of naming it "iV".

I can keep everyone here updated as long as they give me the following information and documents:

Full name

Phone number


House address (in case "iV" closes the internet and phones)

Credit Card Number (I'll be purchasing gold and goats in the event of an apocalypse)

Pet names

Preferred web browser

Birth certificate

Letter of recommendation