Notes on my psyche during probably the most painful period of my life.

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I’ve been feeling nauseas, every meal I eat I risk throwing it up. 

Am coughing. 

I feel depressed. Some days I feel like I’m not strong enough to get back to where I was. Usually days we set a new plan I feel good. 

At night I’m completely restless, I try to sleep but my mind can’t stop running. I try reading, listening to calming music, and I still only get an hour of sleep. It’s been days since I had more than 2-3 hours of solid sleep. 

I’m very impatient, I want to see a constant slope upward. Every day I question the plan and set a new course. The issue is I can’t seem to stick to anything long enough. 

I just want to get back to where I was before. 

If I force myself to work, I feel fine. No pain, I just focus on work because that’s all I can focus on. 

At the moment: what I think I want is Wellbutrin and something to help me sleep. Then I’ll also see a psychiatrist. But I’m terrified that in 2 days I’ll want to go off of it because I’ll think whatever I’m feeling, like nausea, is due to the new medicine. 

Last time I was on Wellbutrin I was taking 150mg. 

What should I take for the nausea? Tums? 
How do I get myself to be able to eat enough?

I was taking Miralax (like 4 doses per day) and I also started Nexapro at the same time. I started vomiting and feeling very nauseous for 10 hours a day. I decided to stop both because of the nausea and vomiting, which one was more likely causing it?