Notes from call with therapist after Tara told me that she wanted an open relationship.

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* Do you think we should do couple's therapy? 
    * yes, should do this.
    * Ester peril, couple's therapist. Where should we begin. 
        * Meeting in captivity. 
    * Do you have a recommendation? 
    * Could we do it with you? 
* I talked to a lot of my friends. They're kind of split on whether I should be ok with opening the relationship ultimately. 
* I personally don't want to. 
* Had a panic attack on Monday 
* Saw her on video chat, started crying. Texted her I miss her. 
* Said we should reduce contact. 
* Didn't talk to her until Sunday. 
* On Sunday, seems like she isn't pressuring as much. 
    * She said she still feels confused, basically, and feels like she's in limbo. Like she doesn't really know what she wants, it seems. I think she was hoping that talking to [redacted] would make her feel one way or the other. 
    * She said she's making a big deal about this because she wants to make sure it doesn't get to the point where she would feel the compulsion to cheat or something, basically. 
    * She said that we both need to figure some things out separately, but at the same time, she said that we will need to have a conversation about this once I'm better. She wants to make sure that when we have that conversation together, I'm able to fully handle it and it's not going to set me back like it happened on Thursday. 
    * She said that she talked to [redacted] and that [redacted] was somewhat helpful but somewhat not, she said that [redacted] had cheated on [redacted] twice, but that she didn't really feel that way anymore (about being with other people), so it was good that that passed, but not as good because obviously she cheated and also [redacted] had liked dated and slept with other people before dating [redacted], which isn't the same thing as our situation. 
    * She overall didn't seem as adamant or pressure-y as she was on Thursday about having this conversation/figuring things out before some irreparable damage was done to our relationship. It seems like she recognizes that I need to get better before we can have this conversation, and that that may/will take some time. She even said "a month", at one point.