A set of prose examining the feelings I was having during 10th grade.read more
Shall I pursue the satisfaction of my current self? Or that of my future selves? Should I be called selfish if I choose the former? Or do I even have the option? Should I always reveal my true self? Even to others whom may not treat the matter sensitively? Does doing so not give those whom do not an advantage? If so, what is this advantage? Should I participate in affectation if it is required to maintain confidence and other’s conceptions of my status? Should I fight for social power if it increases my pleasure? Should I fight by my own standards or those set by others? Is my happiness determined strictly by my sense of acceptance and importance in my community? Should I treat my life matters with nonchalant passivity or activism? Do I act with this passivity to maintain a status amongst my peers? Should I take or ask for what I want? Should I risk this status for my true desires? Or should I keep this status safe and covertly fight for my desire? If I know that the existence of this perceived status inhibits me, but its strength brings me pleasure and its weakness brings me displeasure, should it be ignored? Should I feel cheated and chagrined when I’m not the best, when I do not obtain what I desire? Must I always delude myself into believing what I wish to believe? Will I ever truthfully plead: “mea culpa”?