After some insistence from Tara, I decided to go off of my ADHD medication. The withdrawals I experienced were pretty severe and I fell into a very deep depression for a couple days, but I think it was the right call. I don't think I needed stimulants.

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Joe Puccio 
Jan 28, 2012, 1:50 AM
to Tara

So, I'm watching this movie with John Cusack called "Say anything" and I'm not sure if you've seen it but he's pursuing this wonderful girl. (I just searched my mail because I had the suspicion and it's the movie that was the topic of that opinionated article you sent me dissing Coldplay.) Perhaps it's just selective attention but I keep finding all of these parallels between our relationship and theirs. I'm not talking about the fundamentals I don't think, though. Unless the fundamentals manifest themselves in the smaller things. She's incredibly studious, beautiful, very smart, and she's somewhat restricted in pursuit of social endeavors. He shakes when he kisses her because he's just so happy. When he thought she was mad at him he subdued and quickly became apologetic. He plays with her hair while he's driving. Their "first date" was at a mall (I'm realizing now that that's not unusual for people...we're just nerds). But there's a difference: they're not right for each other on paper. I think that's the love story that everyone wants to live; they want to overcome an obstacle in the name of love. I think that's what the opinionated article painted as the idealized relationship everyone aspires to have.

I don't think that's what we're trying to do. We just work. 

Oh how I miss the days you would email this to me: "Things that I find interesting/like……I have an excerpt from a book too. I’ll send it soon.  Tell me if you’re overwhelmed by this inundation of stuff." 

I care about you a lot, Tara; you mean so much to me. I'm really sorry you're still having trouble at home and I hope it gets better soon. 

With love and support, 

Joe




Tara Aida 
Jan 28, 2012, 5:27 AM
to me

That is interesting, I've never thought of the "perfect" romance in terms of an obstacle. I'm pretty sure that article touched on the movie when Harry met Sally and how it perpetuated the notion that friends can fall in love even in the case of Harry and Sally where they had vastly different personalities. I think the whole idea of opposites attract is wrong. There is this really great quote somewhere about how a true friend is one who reflects/represents a little piece of who you truly are. I think it works the same with relationships. Instead of saying opposites attract maybe we should recognize that two people can have fundamentally similar core values that manifest themselves differently and even though two people who fall in love may seem "opposite," it is only superficially.

When I was with Sean, Simon, Joe, I never felt like we were completely on the same page. Do you know what I mean? I was interested in them, I thought they were cute; I could objectively analyze why or how they did certain things or had certain values, but there was always a disconnect even if it was minuscule at times. With you it's totally effortless and it has been since our first date omg which is CRAZY to me still. We have already mused over how easy it is to spend time with each other...its also effortless for me to understand you...(when you manage to use your words :P) and I think it's because we have many of the same values...similar ones to Quinn's which is why our relationship sometimes reminds me of mine with her. And I think you probably feel the same way about understanding me. I think one of the reasons we're not in a power struggle is because we don't judge one another...at all; it's really nice knowing that I can come to you with anything, especially my flaws and you won't write me off or attack me. I think it's really important for people to have someone like that; it helps eliminate insecurities.

Now I am on a bus heading out for Wintergreen VA. Don't forget to check your find my friends today! I love driving...I also love being driven and I really am so content right now with Quinn asleep with her head in my lap. I want to put my head in your lap sometime...it's one of my daydreams haha. I also would love to go on a road trip with you or at least drive with you to the beach.

I was thinking that you know on one hand I dislike that all those boys are always teasing me about you, but on the other hand, I really like it. It somehow makes you more tangible or more a part of my life when I hear your name three times a day. Is that strange? I was thinking about this at the variety show.

Sometimes I feel funny when I'm with you because I'm both really really comfortable as well as aware of the fact that I want to be perfect because you amaze me all the time with your humor or affinity for math or the little sweet ways you touch me or kiss me (I really like it when you kiss my forehead).

Blah I am just rambling because it is 5 AM and I only got three hours of sleep last night. I wish you were here to fall asleep on...

Also, I'm so proud of you for dealing with that depression/generally shitty reaction the the drug last night. You are amazing. I am so sorry that you've had to go through this at all. I really hope that the new medicine helps you focus but without taking away your appetite or ability to sleep or empathize. thanks for helping me with my mom..I hope it'll get better.

I love you sooo much, Joe. It's ridiculously awesome and it makes me so happy to know that you feel similarly. I know that today may be rough for you, but don't forget that I am here for you, I love you, and I am probably thinking about you because I spend an inordinate amount of time daydreaming about you (when I woke up this morning I had this feeling of loneliness because I was pulled out of a dream with you in it...I don't remember specifics sadly). Also, I deserve a lot of credit because I typed all of this on my phone. Also, I didn't realize how much you liked those emails! I will definitely start doing them more regularly.

I hope you have a good day; relax and rest.

Tara

P.S waiting for you to wake up some days so that you can respond to my txts/emails is the most excruciating experience sometimes hehe







Joe Puccio 
Jan 29, 2012, 10:55 AM
to Tara

It's probably not true in all cases, but I think that's what I saw in "Say Anything". I agree with your "opposites attract is wrong" with the exception of opposite (complementary) immune systems <3. But, I'm pretty sure humans don't ask each other for blood tests on first dates, so. How do we even define the opposite of a person, though? I mean, to me it seems analogous to asking "what is the opposite of an apple?". Attributes can be opposite, I suppose. Hm. I don't really know. 

I think I know what you mean by that. I believe I can say the same, but it was probably because I was in a power struggle with them and in war one does not exactly reveal their thoughts/feelings to the enemy. Perhaps it's partly because we have the same values but also because we think similarly? For some reason I feel like our primary interests being math and physics has something to do with it; whether it's that brains like ours have an affinity to those subjects or it's our affinity and pursuit of those subjects that has developed our brains/thinking to be similar, I'm not sure. But perhaps that's not right as you say you have a similar connection with Quinn. The full disclosure is really important to me as well. 

Well, you'll have to put your head in my lap some time (perhaps not today; your mom would freak). The beach thing has to happen. 

The increased tangibility of my existence by the fan club while you're at school makes a lot of sense to me; I believe its that same desire for increased tangibility while we're apart that has brought me (and you) to make a photo of us the background of our phones. 

I like kissing your forehead too! It's nice that it's not too frowned upon in public. 

Thank you for helping me get through it. 

I just had a thought similar in principle to my one about when to respond with "I love you": my response to your heartfelt email has not been as so, perhaps we should have a similar rule? When one of us sends an email such as that, the other shouldn't feel the need to respond as they may not feel the compassion the other did at that moment. But, they should send an email when they are feeling that way. However, long emails with a more concrete topic of a discussion can/should be responded to as is normally appropriate. Just an idea. 

I'd just like you to know that I really really really loved your response; it was my (relative to yours) half-assed response that made me think of an alternate approach. Perhaps it wasn't half-assed and my emotions are just convoluted by the excitement of seeing my girlfriend in a few hours. 

P.S. I understand the feeling! Sometimes, when I send you late night emails, I get the same feeling. 
P.P.S I absolutely love knowing that I've made you laugh.