An exchange with my first serious girlfriend, Alison.
read moreJul 26, 2011 2:31 PM Joe: How are you? Alison: I'm fine. Jul 26, 2011 2:32 PM Joe: That's very good. Jul 26, 2011 6:18 PM Alison: You realize that I leave in two days, right? Are you even going to try to see me before then? Jul 26, 2011 6:19 PM Joe: I thought you wanted space. I'm sorry. I was going to give you tonight as well. Jul 26, 2011 6:22 PM Alison: Fine. Jul 26, 2011 6:23 PM Joe: Do you want to see me? Jul 26, 2011 6:23 PM Alison: No. Jul 26, 2011 6:23 PM Joe: Why not? Jul 26, 2011 6:24 PM Alison: Because you've made me feel bad about myself and then you let me wallow in self hatred for two days and I don't trust you. Jul 26, 2011 6:26 PM Joe: I really didn't mean to do that. I just thought you'd talk to me when you were ready. I called you that night to show that I cared I was going to call you tonight, too. Jul 26, 2011 6:26 PM Alison: Fine. Jul 26, 2011 6:27 PM Joe: Would you come over later tonight when I'm finished with some work? Jul 26, 2011 6:28 PM Alison: No. I'm packing my stuff for college. Jul 26, 2011 6:28 PM Joe: All right, well I'm going to get back to work. Jul 26, 2011 6:29 PM Alison: Fine. Jul 26, 2011 6:30 PM Joe: I just don't understand why you'd ask if I was going to try to see you if you weren't even willing to see me. Jul 26, 2011 6:32 PM Alison: I don't want to see you because you din't even try to talk to me about what happened and so I just feel worse. I feel very sad and kind of uncared for and I just don't want to go to your house where i'm not going to be completely comfortable. So no, I don't want to come over there, all right? Jul 26, 2011 6:34 PM Joe: You asked me never to talk about that again. You said you were fine this morning. Jul 26, 2011 6:35 PM Alison: …Fine. I'm wrong, you're right. Jul 26, 2011 6:36 PM Joe: I'm not trying to prove my point; I'm trying to explain myself. I'm really sorry that I made you feel that way. Jul 26, 2011 6:37 PM Alison: I'm not going to lie and say that it's all right. I am completely hurt Jul 26, 2011 6:38 PM Joe: I wouldn't expect you to. Jul 26, 2011 6:40 PM Alison: If you feel like you've done something wrong and want to apologize properly, not over text, then you can do that. But I am not going to ask you to do that. Jul 26, 2011 6:41 PM Joe: I was going to do that but I'm working right now. Jul 26, 2011 6:42 PM Alison: Fine. Cause that's more important. Jul 26, 2011 6:43 PM Joe: I'm in the mood to work; it'd be appreciated if you didn't discourage that. Jul 26, 2011 6:43 PM Alison: Fine. Joe: Sorry, I fell asleep. Jul 26, 2011 8:48 PM Alison: It's fine. Jul 26, 2011 8:48 PM Joe: Do you want to talk? Jul 26, 2011 8:50 PM Alison: Not right now. Jul 26, 2011 8:50 PM Joe: Ok. Why not? Jul 26, 2011 8:51 PM Alison: Because I dont want to talk on the phone and its late Jul 26, 2011 8:52 PM Joe: All right Do you want to talk any other way, then? Or do you just not want to talk to me? Jul 26, 2011 8:53 PM Alison: I can't talk to you until I feel better. I can't feel better until we talk about what happened. We can't talk about what happened until I see you. So no. Jul 26, 2011 8:54 PM Joe: All right. I completely understand. Tomorrow, perhaps? Jul 26, 2011 8:55 PM Alison: I guess. Jul 26. 2011 8:55 PM Alison: I don't know Jul 26, 2011 8:59 PM Joe: All right, well, tell me when you've decided; I'll accommodate. Jul 26, 2011 8:59 PM Joe: I want you to get some sleep. Jul 26, 2011 8:59 PM Alison: I don't want to have to decide. I want you to make an effort to fix this. Jul 26, 2011 9:00 PM Joe: I'll just talk to you tomorrow. Jul 26, 2011 9:01 PM Alison: All right, that should work. Jul 26, 2011 9:01 PM Joe: Unless, you want to talk tonight. Jul 26, 2011 9:01 PM Alison: ...Fine Jul 26, 2011 9:02 PM Alison: I am tired of this. Do whatever you want. Jul 26, 2011 9:02 PM Joe: I want what you want. Could we talk tonight so that you can get some sleep? Jul 26, 2011 9:03 PM Alison: Goddamnit, don't do that. Make a fucking decision. Make an effort. Jul 26, 2011 9:03 PM Alison: Not on the phone. Jul 26, 2011 9:04 PM Joe: Fuck you, I had just made one. I was going to walk over but after that text I'm not going to.