An email I got from Alison after I had been dating Tara for 4 months. Admittedly, I really shouldn't have texted her out of the blue after we had broken up and I had started dating Tara. I was kind of addicted to the drama of dating Alison and wanted more of it, but it was very insensitive of me.

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You've seen me do this in past situations and I'm honestly surprised that I haven't written you before.  I apologize for it's lack of finesse and fancy words, but I don't have you editing for me this time.  

I lied when you apologized for things that night  and I told you it was "whatever."  It's not.   Anytime anything reminds me of you I get mad.  And not just mad.  I get furious.  Pissed.  I regard you as the biggest mistake I've ever made.  And I feel like I still get mad because you never really listened to me after we broke up.  I tried to talk to you about it and you just wouldn't hear it.  

What you did to me was low.  And I'm not just talking about you talking to another girl behind my back.  The way you treated me throughout our entire relationship was crap.  And I'm not the only one who saw it.  You were selfish and pushy and demanding.  When I had finally had enough, I was as nice as I possibly could be on the phone that night.  I tried to be calm and to just get through it with as little pain as possible.  But, despite my effort, you were an ass.  You knew that was the one thing you could say that would hurt me more than anything.  And you said it.  

The only conclusion I can draw from this is that you honestly never cared about me.  I've resigned myself to this fact and, while it sucks, I have realized that people can't help the way they feel and I don't blame you for that part of our royally fucked-up, pathetic relationship.

You also almost ruined the friendship I had with my best friend.  I don't entirely blame you for that, either (she shouldn't have said those things about me, no matter what was going on in her life) but I would have reconciled with her much sooner if you hadn't been so against it and I hadn't been so worried about keeping you happy.

A lot of our relationship was a lie.  I don't think you truly knew me at all.  Again, this isn't really your fault.  I didn't share a whole lot of true stuff with you.  You pressured me into saying (and even partly believing) a lot of stuff that I didn't truly believe.  

In spite of all that, it took me a really long time to finally look at other guys in that way again.  And, when I finally get those feelings for a truly great guy that I see myself having a future with, you text me out of the blue (effectively ruining my night's sleep when I had to get up at 7:00 to babysit next morning, I might add.).  And, I seriously doubt your girlfriend would like that you were texting me, anyway.  

Now, all I have left to say is that I don't want you in my life in anyway.  I realize that I may run into you at Woods if I'm there to see my brothers, but other than that there should be no contact.  I truly don't want it.  I don't care how strange it is that we don't talk anymore.  I don't want to hear from you.  

On a happier note, I really do hope that everything works out for you college and career wise.  You are a very smart guy and you're going to do well.

There is no need to reply to this message.  It was just as way for me to finally get my thoughts out there and move on with my life.