Another email from Alison.

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Last night, I felt sick and lonely and I missed you a lot. I wanted to just talk to you for a minute just so that I would feel a little better and be able to sleep. You chose, however, not to call me because Paul was in a bad mood. That hurt. It felt like I didn't mean enough to you.

Then I told you how I felt, and you could have called me then. But you still chose not to. This further cemented the idea that you didn't care for me.

I felt the symptoms of my SAD and I started thinking about self-mutilation for the first time in my life. And for the second time, you weren't there for me.

I felt like you just didn't want to talk to me so I said that perhaps we shouldn't talk until Wednesday. Usually, when I say stuff like this, you fight me on it. You refuse to let me just not talk to you no matter how upset I am. But this time you just said "All right," and the conversation ended. I, again, felt like I meant nothing to you.

Then, today, I waited and waited to hear from you, just to prove that I was being irrational and that you do care about me. But you didn't text me. I felt worse than I have in a long time.

When you finally texted me today, and I told you I was still upset, you didn't even ask me to explain why. I felt like you just didn't care what was bothering me. You ask me to trust you when you say you care about me, but it's hard when things like this happen. I find it hard to believe you.

Please don't let Paul or Chad read this, if they're still there, and don't respond. We can have a conversation when I get back on Wednesday.