Exactly a year after he cut things off between us, I decided to try to see if he would rekindle things. When he said no is when my anxiety started up again.

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Joe Puccio 
Fri, May 14, 9:20 PM
to Kevin

Hey Kevin,

Hope all is well with you. It's been a year since we decided to part ways. I've missed you, even a bit more than I expected I would. I was wondering if you'd be open to us going back to talking?

If you are, I do think there's a couple things that I'd do differently. I think one thing is that I'd rather do one-on-one chats rather than group chats with Li or others, especially since those are the convos I enjoyed the most anyway. Another thing is I wouldn't pummel you with stuff like I used to (I've actually been working on this with others as well); I want to be respectful of your time. I'd also like to just go back to chatting via email rather than real-time messaging, that way there won't be pressure to respond in a certain timeframe.

Finally, and most importantly, I'd like to continue getting your Wren/livestock/job updates, if there's still room in the "To:" field.

Joe





Kevin Anderson 
Sat, May 15, 4:06 PM
to me

Hi Joe, I am doing well and hope you are too.

I will keep it short and to the point: walking away was difficult but nonetheless the right decision for me.  I think sticking with that decision is still the way to go.  I feel like I have "closed the book" on that chapter of my life and do not wish to open it again, even in the limited capacity you describe.  I'm sorry this isn't the reply you were hoping for.

Best wishes to you, Tara, and Cosmo.

Kevin



Joe Puccio 
Sat, May 15, 4:59 PM
to Kevin

Ok, I understand what you’re saying and I respect that. I just feel quite sad about how we left things and want to know if there’s any non-zero relationship we can have. Would you be ok with me calling you every year or so, or occasionally including me on one of your job/life email updates (I can not respond to it if that’s important to you)?

Separately, Tara asked me recently if you would be ok with her texting you? She told me that she's wanted to text you a couple times but didn't do so because she's not sure how you'd feel about it. 




Kevin Anderson 
Tue, Jun 1, 10:24 PM
to me

I kept putting this off because I wasn't sure what my answer was.  Hopefully "better late than never" applies here.

> want to know if there’s any non-zero relationship we can have

The answer has to be no.  I don't think the phone calls are a good idea.  I've also not sent a life update email in some years (nor do I plan to, life is less interesting now than it used to be), so you're not missing out on anything there.  I think talking with Tara will inevitably lead to what I'm trying to avoid, so I don't think that's a good idea either.  I hope you understand that I'm trying, perhaps unsuccessfully, to not be a dick.  I'm just trying to do what is right for me, and what I think is right for me in this case is to move forward and leave the past in the past.

Kevin