A very long note that I wrote soon after Tara left for Harvard.read more
A possible Birthday Present for Tara - Remembrance. Do a word mash thing of our text conversation so that the words that are most frequent are a larger font.
Just think back to our summer: nearly every day we spent together in bliss. We touched arms, lips, hearts and minds. We flirted, fought, and fucked.
Remember our first walk into the woods behind my house? Remember how you came for the first time with me? You were just moving on my lap and we were kissing. Remember when I was impressed by how you could keep up with me running through the bushery?
Remember those calls you made to me right after your school got out? I told you I wanted to be surprised about when you’d call.
Remember your surprise when I remembered that your parents were both programmers and one of them worked with some doctor related? I remember reading your response email to that so many times because I was so proud to have made you happy by it. And I wondered if your excitement told me anything about deeper feelings toward me.
Remember all of the long emails we used to write each other? Remember having to sit down with a block of an hour set aside to respond to my emails?
Remember talking about philosophy over email when we first started dating? Remember sending each other so many links and articles and pictures and blog posts?
Remember all of the video chat’s we’ve had? Remember when we started to tease each other by showing off our bare shoulders? Remember when I counted my erections (“oh, there’s number 7 coming in hard”)?
Remember our first walk together which was on the Tobacco trails outside Marisa’s house? We talked about “Blops” as you call it and how we didn’t understand transformers and I slipped a few times and said “girlfriend” instead of “x-girlfriend”. You told me about Ms. Rotolo and I think we discussed the best way to test students and the purpose of grades or the best way to grade. Think about how at that point, we had never kissed, or even touched hands. In our entire lives, none of that had happened.
Remember before we started dating when you accused me of stalking Marisa when I made that joke about being allergic to Strawberries but you had actually told me about how she dressed up as a Strawberry for Halloween?
Remember when you made that “tarafying” pun but you didn’t even spell it that way and you were nervous that I wouldn’t understand it and I spent so long trying to figure it out but I still couldn’t?
Remember when I convinced you that I had won the costume contest at my school for Halloween with my Steve Jobs black T-shirt and jeans costume?
Remember when we were talking about badminton (which I only know how to spell now because I had to type it so many times to you) and you joked about your nose being broken by a racket during a game and I believed you?
Remember our first talk at Barnes & Noble? We wandered in with very few people around or in the store and circled the math and physics books. You told me you got into a lot of fights with your sister.
Remember that Wednesday night when your parents were out for the night and you drove over to my house to find me ecstatic and shocked to see you? We ate pizza, watched a movie, and hung out just as if we had been friends. We have fun like friends but fuck like friends with benefits (best of both worlds, I guess).
Remember driving around at night a few times in Cary trying to find a place to stop to make out? Like that one time when we made out and you took your shirt off and you sat on my lab and I fingered you without any underwear on for one of the first times? (PS remembering that turned me on).
Remember that long goodbye we had the first time you dropped me off at my Aunt’s? Our hugs were actually minutes long. We just talked in the car and looked at each other. It was one of the first times we were alone together at night. It was the best goodnight I’ve ever had with you.
Remember the semi-formal and how much fun we had at the dinner together and how I got really tired after bowling and how you thought I was really cute in my suit? Remember eating Calimori at the dinner? Remember Marisa being peeved and “sick”? Remember going into the dance and immediately feeling like it wasn’t for us so we left? Remember walking out of the bowling alley and me making a comment about how I felt like we were married by the way we were dressed and how we had just excited an event with another couple (and Jeff, haha)?
Remember helping me dress up all those times I went to events with you? Remember trying to tie my tie?
Remember the excitement you had for the summer to start with me so that we would have all the time we needed together?
Remember all of the days after school when you’d come outside of your english class to see me waiting for you? Remember when I would try to trick you and say that I would be late when I was actually already there?
Remember all the guys at Cary Academy screaming “Joe Puccioooo”?
Remember how excited we were to spend time together in the library starting at 1:30 because you guys were allowed to leave the classroom during english? Remember not wanting to leave Marisa out but at the same time wanting to be together?
Remember the time it rained during softball and we got to go home early and we had a full three hours together and it made that week one of the best we had ever had?
Remember the time I went to get ice for your knee during that one softball practice?
Remember the Wacammaw? Remember how excited we were for it? We thought that month would be the best because it had the Wacammaw, my prom, and your prom all in one. Remember the softball game afterward and how it was really hard on you? Remember your double play because I sure as hell do. Fuck yeah, baby, you rule! Remember the drive there when we just laid down together in the back and looked at the darkness of the sky and kissed as much as we could? Remember trying to get comfortable back there? Remember when once we got there, we went in the pool together really late? Remember how much I wanted you to stay with me that night when you had to go to sleep? Remember Chiraayu being jealous of our relationship and wanting that for himself? Remember how awkward it was to be around Quinn and Chiraayu while things weren’t going well between them? Remember sitting next to me on the boat while I massaged your sides as I was excited to see you in your bathing suit? Remember the walk we had alone after that dinner where we sat on a secluded bench and talked about how much we loved each other? Remember how we had to rush back and there was lightening and thunder and everyone was stressed out?
Remember boating in the rain and cold and all of us huddling together to stay warm? Remember when we won that $100 and you were strangely attracted to me for being able to set my mind to something and achieve it? Remember the drive back when we were really sad it was over and we didn’t want to go back to seeing each other so infrequently?
Remember my prom? Remember how as it approached, more and more we didn’t want to go to the after party? Remember how we didn’t talk to anyone during the dinner before hand and we were just completely engrossed by the other? Remember us talking about physics during the dinner? Remember you whispering to me little things you knew about the people at the table from Facebook stalking them? Remember taking pictures on my patio beforehand? Remember being driven around in the backseat of my Dad’s leaf on the way to the prom and being almost completely silent and focusing on touching each other’s hands? Remember getting separated by that bitch because we were apparently dancing too close? Remember the drive back with my dad and being incredibly excited to spend our first night together? Remember the atmosphere? The excitement and anxiety? Remember looking at the stars with me at night and lying down next to me for one of the first times and loving each other? Remember how we tried having sex but it didn’t work and then we said we would stop for the night but we tried again and it finally did go in but it took 40 minutes for me to come? Remember how sweet and generous you were to wait for me even though you were in pain (I do, I’m really sorry about that)? Remember what it was like to really want to sleep but I kept you up with truffles and Joe kisses? Remember how we pulled an all nighter that night? Remember going to Quinn’s confirmation and telling her that we had sex and people giving us bad looks because we were talking during it? Remember how I really didn’t want you to take a sip of the wine? Remember how you backed into that car when we were trying to leave and you were really distraught but I tried to calm you down? Remember those women yelling at us from their car on their way out and when we realized it was the same woman who separated us the night before? Remember how Alison Rossi’s parents and brothers were at the confirmation and I was freaking out? Remember how hard it was to have to stay awake for some family brunch or something that you had after it and how you fell asleep in one of your friends’ beds?
Remember what it was like to see each other twice a week as opposed to once a week?
Remember how nervous you were on the first unofficial date and how you were late as you usually would be for any meeting we held thereafter and how we had that awkward hug and you made fun of me during our meal? Remember going to see 50/50 and me asking you if you were the kind “of person who talked during movies” and we pretty much just made jokes to each other and talked the entire time? Remember how well we hit it off during the movie? Remember how it wasn’t awkward at all (maybe the sex scene was a little awkward)? Remember the pizza box and how you thought it was so funny how I didn’t want to bring it in to the bathroom with me? I remember thinking about how much I was smiling while I was peeing and how I just felt so good to be with you at that time. Remember when we walked around southpoint and it was really barren and dark and nobody was out? Remember how we walked in the parking lot and you put your scarf around me and it was really sweet and cute? Remember being really scared when people drove by in that parking lot? Remember driving to my house and being really scared of the route that you would know so well later? Remember talking the entire time and me just insisting that we do this again some time soon? Remember arriving at my house and me inviting you in to see around (I remember thinking that you’d fall in love with Cosmo and I wanted that to be a bonus for dating me)? Remember driving away and making the wrong turn and texting me saying that you had gotten stuck in a ditch and me not responding for 20 minutes because I thought you were joking and even though I asked and you said you weren’t my mind just didn’t comprehend it until I realized later that you actually were stuck in a ditch? Remember me calling you and asking if you were all right and telling you that my parents and I were on their way? Remember how we were late and we got there after everything had happened and my mom gave you that big hug? Remember me very awkwardly patting you on the arm to console you because I didn’t want to hug you or anything in front of your dad (turns out I should have been afraid of your mom seeing, heh)? Remember thanking me that night for coming even though it wasn’t necessary and being really embarrassed and sad that your dad was mad at you and grounded you until may?
Remember that time we went into the woods with the blanket for the first time? Remember that this was the first time you jacked me off? Remember how we were both completely naked and out in the open? Remember how we got cum on the blanket and you were really nervous about it? Remember how calm it was to be with me over that lake?
Remember when you ate the Chinese food even though Cosmo also had a bite? Remember our trip to woods where I showed you the great room and some classrooms? Remember the air back then? How thin and cold it was? I loved that time, Tara. Remember spending so much time at my house over Christmas? Remember coming to my house early in the morning and going right to my basement to “watch movies”? I remember pacing around the house at 7:40 AM and my Uncle asking me why the hell I was up because he had never seen me up that early. Remember going upstairs and you helping my aunt with her tablet? Remember feeling proud that you could help? Remember my mom feeding us everything?
Remember when you met Ryan for the first time? Remember when we had to sit through that fucking bitch ass tits cunt bag douche loser cat movie for 4 god damn fucking hours because both of us were too nice/not balsy enough to say we wanted to go upstairs? Remember how hard it was to say goodbye because it was right before you left for florida and we had worked it out so that we would get each other off that day but you couldn’t so we were really not feeling well?
Remember when you got back from florida and (this was the first time I did this) I met you at the top of my driveway because I was so excited to see you and I missed you so much?
Remember that time we made out on my couch in the living room for the first time when nobody was home? We stripped down to our underwear and it was really hot.
Remember how it sucked to just start dating and not be together for thanksgiving? I really was hoping that you would come with me to a thanksgiving thing that I had every year that I didn’t like (mainly because Laura was there :O).
Remember the night you asked me out? Remember talking about colleges and sitting down in Barnes & Noble in front of the sports section which we apparently weren’t allowed to be in? I remember thinking at that point that I thought you were really pretty (this is the first time I’m remembering that). Remember getting that text from Quinn? Remember talking about Joe Calder and how he was trying in all of these ways to still be a part of your life? Remember when you actually asked me? Remember how quickly I responded to everything you had said? Remember immediately afterward when you apologized for leading me on at SVSM? Remember how it was frustrating because we both wanted to talk so much more but Quinn’s mom just got there? Remember the car ride and telling me that if I went to Cary Academy, I would be very nervous around Marti because she was a big player at CA? Remember me telling you about how at that time, I was really nervous we would crash because I really wanted to experience dating you and I just wasn’t ready to die yet? Remember how I told you later that I was light headed and confused for an hour or so after you told me? Remember playing Badminton? Remember how unenthusiastic I was? Remember what it was like to play Boulderdash with everyone? Remember sitting next to me and having our legs briefly brush up against one another’s? Remember everyone pen spinning and how it was annoying Marisa? Remember watching Modern Family and sitting next to me and really wanting to lean into me but I had sat too far away? Remember telling me that I would love Mr. Jenkins (and how you were absolutely right)? Remember watching that video that Quinn made (I think) which was asking her family members to talk about planetary orbits or something? Remember when you left and didn’t hug me?
Remember that time we were at a party at Quinn’s house and we were sitting by the fire and you said that you just “felt like something was between us” because the arms of the chairs prevented us from cuddling and I thought it was really funny? Remember when we went into the house while everyone was outside and made out just at the door of the bathroom? Remember how hot making out while standing up was? Remember how new it felt to kiss me? Remember when we went out to the swing (as we had planned the entire time) and made out there? Remember how someone drove by and we didn’t notice and we thought they saw us and you were really nervous it was your dad? Remember how you were really sick so you had one of those cough drops and you told me to eat a lot of Vitamin C when I got home so that I wouldn’t also become sick and I sent you a picture of a bowl of sliced lemons and oranges that I had made myself? Remember when I (and I think you said it too) accidentally said “I love you” that night because we were saying “I like you more than ___”? Remember how it was really funny because I said “I love you...” and then I paused because I realized what I had just said accidentally. You claimed that you were used to saying “I love food” so you misspoke and said “I love you more than food”.
Remember your graduation ceremony and when we made eyes at each other the entire time? Remember being really excited for that weekend because we knew we would have a lot of time together then and we would have even more in the months to come over the summer? Remember afterward how we went back to your house and you lied down with your head in my lap and I rubbed your head and just told you to relax and that everything would be okay. Remember how I covered your ears because your mom was talking? That was the first time I had ever done that to make you feel more relaxed.
Remember when we first said “I love you”? Remember that we had realized it over the phone but you didn’t want to say it until we were in person? Remember how early it was in our relationship?
Remember when you told me over the phone that night about what happened with Shawn? Remember me telling you about using my microscope to look at my sperm and how you thought it was the funniest thing ever? Remember how open we were that night? Remember how we pretty much disclosed everything? Remember how you asked me if I had had sex and I said “sort of”? Remember talking about the sex stuff for the first time over the phone that night? Remember how that was the start of many late night conversations we would have?
Remember the first few weeks of our relationship when we stayed up really late at night texting and you kept telling me that you had never done this before and you couldn’t believe you were doing it on a school night but you just couldn’t get yourself to stop?
Remember your graduation party? Remember me carrying all of the checks and gifts to your Nani? Remember all of the photographs you had to take with people? Remember the waiter, Justin? Remember how exhausted you were afterward? Remember how you just wanted to get home and lie down with me? Remember me taking all of the hairpins out of your hair and how it felt really good when I did that?
Remember your graduation after party? Remember how we were having so much fun cleaning your room and you really wanted to kiss me but I wouldn’t let you unless you helped cleaning and you got really turned on and I took you and kissed you and grabbed your but and we melted in to each other and fortunately broke right before your mom came in to check on us. She said “I love you” to me because I was helping you clean. Remember how sad it was that you had invited the guests early because your mom didn’t tell you the right time and we were both upset because we really were enjoying our time together.
Remember that time we had sex three times and we were so busy having sex that we didn’t notice the time and you had a doctor’s appointment to go to? Okay, this is a big FD: I did see the time and I was pretty sure that it was pretty far past when you were supposed to leave but I wanted to keep having sex and I thought that you would have known if it was too late so I didn’t say anything...omg...
Remember your prom? Remember having to take so many pictures? Remember me spilling all of those drinks on people and being really embarrassed? Remember dancing outside of the large group of people and not really caring what other people thought about us? Remember working together to convince Quinn and Chiraayu that I was planning to bring my backpack? Remember their faces? Remember Mr. Jenkins driving up that driveway to show me that cars could handle large inclines? Remember going to DA to see the playground? Remember the mandatory photograph that we had to take? Remember having to take your Birth Control right while we were getting into the car? Remember going to get ice cream afterward? Remember kissing a little in the car after leaving the prom? Remember talking about middle names while we were eating ice cream (that’s when I relearned your middle name, finally)? Remember going back to Quinn’s house and playing table tennis and being really hyper and playing music and talking in a circle and how I was pacing around and Marisa said that I may actually be impossibly a bigger nerd than you? Remember eating truffles and Marisa’s fruit salad? Remember trying to convince Quinn that we should stay up later? Remember sitting on my lap when we were all in a circle on Quinn’s porch? Remember how I find my iPhone’d you for the first time to wake you up because Chiraayu and I couldn’t go upstairs? Remember the morning after when everyone left except for you, me, Marisa, and Quinn? Remember how we all went to Foster’s that morning and. Remember how Mr. Jenkins wanted us to all go see a movie?
Remember all of our Wednesdays after softball ended when we’d go back to your house and lie together on the couch?
Remember your rant about Joe Calder at Barnes and Noble? Our discussion and analysis of your past male compadres (I don’t like to refer to them as boyfriends)?
Remember trying really hard not to laugh while Mr. Jenkins was video taping himself for the Youtube video we made? Remember having the same experience when we sat in on that meeting with the smiley guy and the Nuclear engineer? We passed notes to each other on my iPhone? I’ve already sent you the notes at least once but I’d like to send them to you again after you read this.
Remember all of those days when I was really sick over the summer and it was hard to be around me but we made it through everything? We had a few bad times throughout those days and I’m really sorry about that, but thank you so much for sticking with me.
I’m just thinking about how sad it would be if we broke up some time between today (August 28th) and your birthday and how I would have written you this document and you would have never gotten to see it. I really hope you’re reading this message at all. I may have showed it to you early because I just couldn’t keep it hidden for so long, I’m not sure what I’ll do.
Remember how hard it was to be apart on our anniversary because your mom forbade us from seeing each other because she just wanted to hurt you?
Remember all of those times that I touched your hair while you were driving and you’d look over and smile at me and I’d kiss you on the cheek or more commonly kiss your arm? Remember when I would kiss up and down your arm and eventually get to your neck where you’d shake me off because it wasn’t safe?
Remember having sex with your Nani in the house? Remember your Nani walking upstairs while I was fingering you and us really not being sure if she had seen anything and we started talking about whether she would tell your mom.
Remember having sex with your sister in the shower and we had to stop early because she got out and I had to go jack off in the bathroom and I was really flustered and I really hoped that your dad didn’t notice that I was flustered.
Remember all of those times we had sex with your sister asleep upstairs and we did it right in front of the front door on the rug and we were really nervous someone would come in but we just couldn’t help ourselves?
Remember when you were reading my UNC summer book and the guy said something about Google being evil and I took the book and threw it outside?
Remember all of the good and fun times we had working for Mr. Jenkins? Remember the not so good times like when we had to clean all of those windows?
Remember the Cheesecake factory night when we ran around through the rain and you didn’t want to run out first and I made a comment about it not being a battlefield and it’s not like you’re going to get more wet and the people around us laughed and then we ran? Remember how we were both really went and it was dark and we started making out in your car and then you gave me a handjob because the fog on the windows was enough to conceal our activity?
Remember lying on the golf course with me at night and listening to the train and looking at the stars and down at the beauty of the courses?
Remember MIT decision day when we spent the whole day together, even after the decision and you comforted me and your dad said I “took it like a man” and we laid down on the golf courses and you hid from me for a little and I couldn’t find you. You wanted me to bike just like you did the last day I came to your house before you left for Boston but just like that day, the tires were deflated and we couldn’t do it (hehe).
Remember seeing the Dark Knight rises together and how you were really proud of making me laugh throughout the movie and I was crashing the movie anyway with Jordan and Marisa and Marisa was bitter that I was there but you didn’t care because you were with me? Remember eating at Panera right before and me getting you that flower cookie because you were my “flower” I said. Remember how I had doughnuts for the occasion but I was playing with them on the escalator at Barnes & Noble before and they all fell sprinkle side down and we gave them to Marisa and Jordan anyway? Remember the kiss we had in the light rain before you left?
Remember when you in Florida and we were having a lot of difficulty because I felt left out and I was having a lot of trouble with my medicine but you helped me through it.
Remember all of the times you’ve stayed up before Euro tests because I needed to talk to you?
Remember how upset you were when you were planning to come to my house but then your mom called you and said you needed to come home to help her because she was sick but she didn’t really need help and she just wanted to control you and from that point on you weren’t allowed to be out past 6?
Remember buying me Vans at Southpoint and us walking around trying to find you the right watch?
Remember how I was there for you that one day after you got in the fight with Quinn and you were both crying but I was able to comfort you in person and it felt really good to be there for you and when you went to softball Emma said she’d kill me because she thought I had broken up with you.
Remember all of the times we met at Panera bread before our days together over the summer? Remember the walks to your empty house and we were afraid someone would see us but we were excited to be together. Remember what it was like to lay completely naked in your bed together?
Remember that time we went to target and came back to your house for 20 minutes when we weren’t supposed to and I was really nervous but we made out on your bed and it was really hot?
Remember when we went to pick up Kiran at the airport?
Remember all the times we dropped Kiran off at Piano and we went to Planned Parenthood or Whole Foods and we talked and I tried to calm you down because you were crying and stressed and upset and I rubbed your head and kissed you on the forehead? Remember when you laid down in my lap and I rubbed your head on the bench in Kiran’s piano and you’ve said it calmed you down more than anything else?
Remember the excitement we both had for the arrival of your retina? Remember me running around, jumping and screaming when the FedEx guy had arrived?
Remember how excited I was when Kiran was finally comfortable around me?
Remember that time when you told me that you had never came with Shawn and I ran around the room with my hands over my head in joy? Remember how your parents left later that evening for the pool and we had a race to see who could take off their clothes the fastest?
Remember our first official date? Remember seeing me for the first time as your boyfriend? Remember how I reacted when you said you might be in Argentina for the summer and I flipped out? (link attached)
Remember our Valentines day dinner? Remember how we played around with Swedish Fish? Remember how we were being really loud and you joked about pouring water on my computer and I freaked out?
Remember our first time at my house? Remember how I expected us to be spending the entire day together? Remember showing me the donkey math problem? Remember sitting on my bed for the first time? Remember when I kissed you on the cheek when you weren’t expecting it? Remember when you watched me and encouraged me to eat? Remember walking down into my basement for the first time and calling it “so ghetto”? Remember touching hands for the first time? Remember my relation of what we were doing with our hands to potential and kinetic energy? Remember what it was like to watch the movie but not pay any attention to it at all? Remember what it was like just moments before I kissed you? When I asked to kiss you? Remember when you had to pause kissing me a few times because you were overwhelmed and too turned on?
Remember what it was like when I first touched your breasts? When I slide my hand under your shirt and bra and just grazed your nipples with my fingers?
Remember Christmas? Remember finishing all of your college apps really fast? Remember being afraid you wouldn’t finish in time for my Christmas eve party?
Remember all the times we spoofed your phone?
Remember when I stayed up really late to work on the timeline?
Remember the night we had together at my house when I dictated everything that happened with Alan to you and we had incredibly hot kissing and amazing sex?
Remember when we were talking to each other over Gchat and you typed the smiley and we both paused in the conversation and then I made the comment about watching the smiley face turn and you had been doing the same thing?
Remember all the times when we’ve been talking and we both have the same idea of what to say next and we suspect that the other has the same idea and we both just try to get it out before the other?
Remember that time when you fell asleep to me rubbing you and you woke up to me rubbing you on my bed?
Remember my maniacal laugh when I grabbed the wall while holding water in my other hand?
Remember the time I told you you were my best friend? Remember how you started tearing?
Remember Science olympiad right before the semi formal? Duke early admission?
Remember the morehead weekend? Remember going to the Davis Library with me? Remember trying to find an empty study room with Isaac? Remember laughing with Alison and your Morehead friends and me? Remember lying down in the Quad and making fun of people who walked by? Remember laughing and not caring about what anyone else thought? Remember when I dropped you off at the Carolina Inn and I had to hide from your mom? Remember when you were having that dinner with Alison and I waited for you while reading my book just so that I could see you for the few minutes after? Remember when we walked around the math department and I showed you my classrooms? Remember me writing on the blackboards because you asked me to?
Remember coming to UNC that one time to see me when you weren’t supposed to? Remember how it was one of the first times we did something against your parent’s will?
Remember the lecture we went to together at UNC? Remember how you just told me you were going and I was like: “Hey, could I come?” and I met Joe Calder for the first time and he molested my hand (something I’ll never forgive him for). And remember how we were pretty touchy in the lecture and we probably made Joe Calder uncomfortable and other older people in the room?
Remember the time when I stopped talking and so I had to sign to you what I wanted to communicate to you and then we switched and we were so excited and anxious to figure out what the other was trying to say?
Remember when we first made out at your house and how I had to gather myself once just like you had to gather yourself the week before at my house? Remember when your dad came up and I was really paranoid that he had seen us kissing? Remember when you asked me to stand up and you started walking around me while watching my feet and you said “TV show” and then I exclaimed: “New Girl!”.
Remember when we spent so many hours that night trying to jailbreak your phone? Remember how the solution turned out to be pretty simple? Remember feeling so relieved and commenting “I LOVE YOU” on the video that gave us the solution?
trying to catch treefrog outside of panera
remember that time we competed to see who could recognize if the phone call was coming from in front or behind them?
Search emails, texts, everything for the word “remember” and then try to get stories from those
Things culled from Mac Messages
singing at UNC
Remember the Waccammaw? Remember when we first got to Quinn's house (you probably got there early which made me upset)? Remember helping Chiraayu with calculus? Remember sitting next to each other? Remember stopping near Cary Academy? Remember crossing the busy road? Remember your softball game just beforehand?
Remember these days? http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150966903485938&set=t.1439334905&type=3&theater
I guess I'm just really remembering for the first time how different last year was beacause I can vividly remember being excited to graduate.
Remember how excited we were when my parents let me see you on wednesdays?
I just remember what it was like to see you after you finally exited the stage.
I remember being so energized when I thought about how much we talked after only known each other for a few months
Remember that guy who was sitting next to us and was all "I know everything about iPhones and the new iOS"?
Remember that guy at southpoint who we always saw video chatting his wife/girlfriend?
Remember arm wrestling your sister and me on the floor of your living room in the summer?
I think back to a time often when I felt so unappreciated, like I had so much to give to someone, to one person, but nobody would hear it. I don’t know I think about that time when I think about you sometimes, but I feel a sort of accomplishment when I do. Like “yes, I finally found someone who would take all of my love and who wants it all to herself”. I think I was looking for a best friend, too. I wanted someone I could share every day with and I could explore everything with and not feel held back or pushed too far. You’re that person to me, Tara.