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The Truth About Global Warming

By: Joe, Graham and Jonny

What do you think causes Global Warming? Inferred rays radiating off of the earth and getting trapped in the atmosphere by toxic gases emitted by man? Well, you’re terribly mistaken, the truth is that a long time ago when the earth was young the gods decided to have a little bet. Ares the god of war bet Hades of the underworld that by the time earths people inhabited the Earth for 40,000 years, they would have two great wars. Hades bet in favor of this and Ares against. Once the second great war began Hades was marked the winner. And as per their agreement Hades set fire to all of the souls in the underworld and brought great heat to the ground. After years of burning, the living humans began to perceive this as their fault.

This brought great distress to the people of Earth and decided to do everything in their power to stop it. Unfortunately the people of Earth were to lazy to do anything. So they continued digging themselves deeper into the fiery pit. They didn’t even respond to any of the signs like the permanent extinction of all wild sea animals. Although all the aquariums of the world became wonders of the world the fish could not recover. A sign that the humans certainly should have noticed was right before the ocean became uninhabitable all the Dolphins began to fly and sing “So long and thanks for all the fish, to bad it had to come to this.” Much like the novel “A Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy. Along with this the humans had frequent black outs because of the massive use of air conditioning.

And probably the worst of all was the massive demand of fatty foods, for as the Earth became hotter and hotter the phrase “Ahhh, I don’t want to go outside it’s too hot.” Became more and more common amongst both children and Adults. So as well as the world becoming warmer and warmer the people (who at the moment I think couldn’t get any bigger) got bigger and bigger. And like father like son the next generations continued to get fatter and fatter until Mcdonald’s (which at this point was more widespread than Starbucks is today “wow”) decided to put the Ice Cream trucks to “Good use.” They bought all the Ice Cream trucks they could find and made them into “The Rolling Ronald Mcdonald” which would drive around and convince people to buy there food. Mcdonald’s also began visiting school every hour, and it was known as, happy hour.

And in 2099 at the turn of the century Satin decided to put an end to this burning and let the world live free of the heat. So at this sudden change human kind was stunned, they did not have an explanation. Of course they didn’t have much time to think because they had gained so much body fat that with this sudden cold their hearts could not heat their entire 300 pound body so they all froze to death.

The End